Almost 67% of stepfamilies (blended families) end in divorce, and the chances of successfully blending families are very slim. Remarrying when there are children from previous relationships involved can cause a lot of stress and it is very challenging for everyone. Blending step families takes a lot of patience and endurance, and many parents and stepparents simply can not deal with the strife that is caused when children resist getting along with their stepparents or stepsiblings. However, successfully raising stepfamilies/blended families is possible and there are steps that you can take to make the transition smoother.
Where the ‘new’ family unit will live once the parents remarry is usually one of the first issues that arises when blending families with children. If only one partner has children or a child, then the decision may be easier to deal with, as you will only have to think about their needs. However, when there are children on both sides, the decision is not so clear cut. Do you move to his family’s home where HIS children feel comfortable or to her house where HER kids are at home? In this situation, the best solution may be to move to an entirely new home. This could eliminate the feelings kids may experience when they feel that their space is invaded or they feel out of place in someone else’s house.
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If kids have to move to another family’s home, they will have to adjust to the ‘rules’ of this new situation and this could add more stress to an already confusing situation for them and make them feel like outsiders. If kids stay in their own home, they may feel threatened by all the new people in their house, and their territorial defense mechanisms may make it hard for them to accept new people who are ‘invading’ their area. If they are forced to share their room with a stepbrother or sister it could aggravate this feeling and result in a lot of contention. Even parents may feel like this to some extent, especially if they are used to living on their own and being the sole authority figure in their house. This could cause a sort of ‘power struggle’ with each parent trying to assert their position in the family.
Even though finding a new place and moving in can be very stressful and a lot of hard work, at least it will be a shared feeling of stress and everyone will be on the same level. By relocating, everyone has the chance to start fresh and no one will feel like they exclusively ‘own’ the place or that ‘their family’ has more right to be there. In your new house, you will be able to establish new traditions and create new shared memories. This can save a lot of contention that can come from territorial instincts and a new house can be a symbol of a new life together for stepfamilies blended families.
Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today’s Blended Family
- ISBN13: 9780609807415
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Love may be sweeter the second time around, but once the bliss of a newfound relationship wears off a little, the reality of being part of a stepfamily sets in. If you are one of the millions of remarried Americans facing the challenge of blending two existing families into one cohesive whole, you are part of a stepcouple—and you know all too well how hard it can be to make your marriage work in sometimes tough terrain.
Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters, and even seemingly simple issues such as the kinds of chores assigned to children can chisel away at your union if you don’t always make your marriage a priority.
Stepcoupling offers advice for stepcouples on how to do just that—all the while strengthening their blended family with a healthy marriage. Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green provide tips and strategies on dealing with the issues remarried couples face, with a wealth of advice from real-life stepcouples, such
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Love Him, Love His Kids: The Stepmother’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving in a Blended Family
He loves her. She loves him. But his kids hate her.
Or bait her. Or ignore her altogether. She?s the stepmother, and sometimes she feels as if she?s never played a more thankless role. It doesn?t have to be that way. With this book, the stepmother will find the advice she needs to win over even the most resistant children. This honest, practical guide written by a therapist and stepmother who?s been there shows stepmothers the best ways to handle the most challenging situations, including how to:Get off on the right foot from ?hello?Build a relationship with each childShare Daddy with his childrenDefine boundaries as a coupleNegotiate issues with Dad as well as the kids Deal with their ?real? momSurvive holidays, birthdays, and school vacationsCreate family rituals With this book, millions of stepmothers find the strategies they need to safeguard their new marriage and establish a happy, peaceful new blended family.
List Price: $ 12.95
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Smart Stepfamily, The: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family
- ISBN13: 9780764201592
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Ron Deal explodes the myth of the “blended” family as he provides practical, realistic solutions to the issues that stepfamilies face. He helps remarried and soon-to-be married couples
Recognize the unique personality and place of each family member
Solve the everyday puzzles of stepparenting and stepchildren relationships
Learn communication skills to deal with ex-spouses
Honor families of origin while developing new traditions
Invest the time to grow their stepfamily slowly rather than look for instant results
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